Ruddolimar - Ba Ba Ba Banana

-M-UK date 1-23- XMII-

I, captain Ruddolimar crashed on this strange planet. Through investigation I have found that this place is called 'Byako' and is inhabited by giant monstrosities, the scale on this planet is scientifically impossible and flies in the face of all known space physics!

However,  I crashed the experimental spacecraft on this planet and somehow have become separated from it. On top of that I have been infected by the test subject and expect to fully transform into one myself if I cannot find it soon.

Fortunately enough, I was able to befriend a tribe of natives. They have a crude and primitive but I was easily able to win them to my side.

Usomin, there is something I want to talk to you about if I make it back to Mini-Whales.

---

Ruddolimar then closed the journal which he had fashioned from a strange scrap of paper he found on the ground that was shiny on one side.
Turning, Ruddolimar saw the dozen strong Usomin tribe who had previously swore to serve him to the end of their days  (in exchange for muffins) were right now lawling about laying sprawled on various objects as they waited for more muffins.

In truth, Ruddolimar had no idea where to look first. They had begun searching this strange planet for the ship and spent most of the day getting nowhere. Now they sat under what vaguely resembled a giant park bench.
The Usomin seemed to be hungry. A sentiment likewise expressed by Ruddolimar who was in anguish over his half-transformation into a wendigo which forced him not to eat anything for fear of forever becoming a wendigo~

His anguished thoughts of hunger however were interrupted by a giant approaching the bench while carrying a box that given the smell, had to contain some sort of food!
Ruddolimar leaped up and pocketed his journal. Whistling and waving his hands to get the Usomin's attention, Ruddolimar made a speech.
"We do this not out of greed or desire but out of duty! This is our vocation! Our destiny! Yes, it is our destiny to eat that food! This is our beach head! Now let us go up there and get that food!"

Greatly moved by this impassioned speech, the Usomin saluted and began running over to one of the bench legs and shimmied up with Ruddolimar following after.

--

Dan Cambell, fighter in Byako's leagues and chugger of soft drinks was sitting down to enjoy a delicious lunch. She had just done battle against a diet cola elemental and its pet bison and came out victorious in the end~

And now she was opening a metal lunch box that seemed to come from nowhere, revealing a mango, chips, half a prawn sandwich and half a dozen blueberry mini muffins~ pulling out the bag of chips, Dan promptly munched away while reading a new manga she picked up~
"Haha! Torri is hilarious!" She said, popping a couple chips into her mouth.

Meanwhile, the bakers dozen of miniscule food snatchers had just reached the bench seat and were making their way along it towards the big metal lunch box.
Upon reaching it, on Ruddolimars orders the usomin formed a uso-ladder and Ruddolimar climbed up them and reaching the top, he grabbed the hands of the topmost usomin and dropped down into the launch box, pulling the usomin along with him until they were all inside the box.

Ruddolimar stared, transfixed upon the prawn sandwich and stumbled towards it slowly with a look of pure joy. He was so happy to see the sandwich that his mind fluttered back to a time years back when he enjoyed such a sandwich on a smaller scale.
Between two slices of rye bread and a slice of cheddar cheese  was a layer almost as thick as Ruddolimar was tall Consisting of prawns mixed into a delicious combination of mustard, mayo, and shredded pepper jack delicious lunch that had a combination of contrasting yet complementing flavors that was rich and salty and deliciously sharp

The memory of that delicious meal was so great that Ruddolimar was crying at the thought of it…Returning to the present, Ruddolimar ran as fast as he could towards the sammich. Stumbling a few times along the way until he was close enough to leap high into the air and bury himself into the sandwiches contents intending to gorge himself to satisfaction.

However his plan was for naught because instead of a bite full of delicious seafood he found his mouth pressed up against the glass bowl on his head. A terrible accessory that prevented him from enjoying that delicious nummyness!
"Noooooooooooooo~" Ruddolimar cried out woefully as he swam out of the sandwich and collapsed on the bottom of the lunchbox in abject defeat.

Ruddolimar stared up woefully in great envy as he saw the giant Dan nomming delicious looking 'Chips'
They looked like they were prepared with a perfect golden grisp and filled with potatoey goodness and seasoned to perfection…
Dully, Ruddolimar reflected that the giant nomming the food looked funny with three bangs. Two big ginormous ones that flopped in the air and a yellow one that sorta-

"Wait…" Ruddolimar sat up and looked at Dan's head and realized that the third bang looked familiar. "That's my ship!" He said, hopping up and down. Ruddolimar began to run towards the giant Dan only to remember the tall ides of the lunchbox!

So looking around for  his Usomin friends, Ruddolimar soon spotted the half dozen mini muffins. Knowing Usomin as well as he did, Ruddolimar inspected the mini muffins and sure enough, there were three little sprouts in each muffin! (Apparently Usomin's favorite eating tecnoque is to eat a hole into a muffin and then eat his way our until its all nommed)

Figuring they didn't have time  for this, Ruddolimar pulled out all of the sprouts and assembled his army.
"Alright, we need to hurry up and take back the ship before its too late!" Ruddolimar said, pointing up at one of giant Dan's bangs.
The Usomin turned back towards the half eaten muffins looking quite forlorn.

Ruddolimar sighed, knowing he wouldn't win that one. "Alright, alright. You can take the muffins with us~"  
He started to say then paused. "Wait theres something different about you…."
Ruddolimar said, only now noticing that a third of the Usomin were now blue instead of the yellow that they had been before.
"Hmm… I guess you guys must change color when you eat different kinda muffins or something?" He theorized. Confused by this since his friend Usomin back at Boa Command generally stayed one shade all the time.

If Ruddolimar had even mastered basic math he might have noticed that there were now eighteen Usomin in his growing army. But seeing as counting higher than ten was a great effort for Ruddolimar, he didn't give this to much thought and simply ordered his Usomin onward.

Soon  there was a pair of Usomin to each mini muffin and between them and the help of the newly recruited blue Usomin (who had no idea what was going on but decided to go with the flow since the yellow ones were doing it)  Ruddolimar and his daring team were once again outside of the the lunch box with the Usomin in tow~

"Alright! Now, I want you all to follow me as we sneak up there and rescue my rocket! Once we get up there we can start up the engine and we all can go back to Mini-whales where you can be reunited with one of your relative~"
Now Ruddolimar began to examine the hurdle before him.

Dan at the moment was sticking the empty bag of chips in her lunch box and was now nomming the mango without bothering to take off the skin, looking something similar to a howler monkey from the way she was gnawing at it.

"Hmm…It might notice us if we crawl on its skin so lets try going up the back of its shirt~"
And with that, Ruddolimar began his brave trek across the park bench, dodging the demon tail and ordered his Usomin to brave the dangers of climbing up the giant's back to use the rocket lodged into it's hair to fly back home~

Sneakily, Ruddolimar and his usomin climbed up the back of Dan's shirt as she nommed and read mangas~
But suddenly she began squirming and scratched her back, very nearly ending the adventures of captain Ruddolimar!
Looking gown to see if it was something one of the Usomin did, his eyes widened to see that three of them were crawling up the INSIDE of the giants shirt!  Ruddolimar made a lot of frantic flapping motions with one hand (holding on tight to Dans shirt with the other) and after some kicks from the other Usomin to give them the message, the three stragglers climbed back down and joined them on the outside of the shirt, narrowly avoiding discovery by Giant Dan herself!

Soon after a great climb that took several minutes, the band of Usomin and their leader reached Dan's hair! Each one grabbing a follicle, they climbed up the final leg of the journey up the giant. A climb that took them several more minutes~ (especially since several of the usomin were simulatiously carrying  mini muffins)

And after a great climb, they reached the top of her head!
Ruddolimar sat on a strand of hair as he stopped to catch his breath and the Usomin took the opportunity to consume the rest of their muffinyness so they could regain their strength.
As a sign of this, the little muffin shaped sprouts on their heads grew in size.

"Alright." Ruddolimar said after several more minutes. "Now lets get on the ship!" With that, the nineteen small figures got up and walked over to the ship (at ruddolimars orders they were careful not to set foot on the scalp)
When they finally reached the ship which was pointing up in the air, Ruddolimar's heart sank at what he saw…
The ship was a mess. Loads of parts were missing and it would be a miracle if he could even make it back to Mini-wales.

But not about to give up, Ruddolimar had all of the usomin climb on board and reaching the bridge, he started the engines to take off and…..Didn't go anywhere.
Frowngin, Ruddolimar tried it a few more times and then finally went down to check and realized that the engines, rockets and the entire propulsion system was missing! Having fallen out the same time he did!

Wailing, Ruddolimar wondered aloud at what he should do now.
After much thought, he decided that the parts couldn't have gotten to far and that he would travel the whole world if he had to in order to get back home!

And so, he ordered the Usomin back out and with some struggling and some effort, the group had managed to get the rocket down on its side and Ruddolimar was helping them to hold it up.
"Alright~ Were going to run as fast as we can and jump to the back part off the bench!" Ruddolimar said.
And on the count of three, the small group ran as fast as they could and leaped, losing their grip on the rocket almost immediately as the aero dynamic vehicle went over the back of the bench and crashed into the sidewalk.

The usomin and Ruddolimar fortunately, were able to catch the back rest of the bench at various places and hold on tight without falling to far.
After much confusion, the small group managed to climb back down from the bench and pulled the Banana into a clump of bushes as Ruddolimar plotted where they  should look next…..

--

Dan finished her mango happily and then reached in for her desert when she saw something that made her gasp and leap up dramatically and point.
"My muffins are gone! Someones stole'd them! Noooooooooooooo~" She cried out in anquish with her knees on the ground and her arms raised in the air.

For about ten seconds. Because just then a giant girl dressed up in a dobok and standing five blocks away held up a cola which caused giant Dan's bangs to twitch, sensing a great power near by that must be tapped into~
Standing up in an instant, the giant Dan ran towards the Cola, sensing its presence!  All thoughts of muffins forgotten~

Well, for her anyway.